Hello,

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter which is going to explain the nonprofit work I do to support the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health of first responders and veterans.   I need partners to come alongside me in this mission to help law enforcement officers live better lives which enables them to better serve their families at home and their communities while at work.  

For those of you that don’t know me, I am a medically retired police officer that worked patrol, Peer Support, SWAT, and full-time police academy instructor for fitness and officer survival.   During those years I was also concurrently a strength coach at Yale and then Georgetown, where I also led campus ministry for the athletes.   I loved all three roles I had as a cop, coach and doing sports ministry. I knew I was exactly where I was called to be to serve while also being spiritually fed and constantly growing.  I was living my dream life when surgical errors for a minor injury caused me to have permanent disabilities, along with other medical issues which severely impacted my life and forced me to medically retire.  

I moved to Los Angeles upon the advice of one of my doctors to seek functional and integrative medical care.  Essentially I was on a number of harsh and dangerous medications that contributed to the collapse of my digestive, immune and endocrine systems in addition a permanent intestinal disability.  These issues require a lot of work behind the scenes work to maintain my health and limit hours I can work without being in full control of my schedule to manage unpredictable medical issues.  

I worked extremely hard with a variety of doctors over the course of a few years to get my health back via more holistic ways. Immediately after I completed a masters in sports psychology as a teachers assistant for world renowned Ken Ravizza, the plan was to get a doctorate in clinical psychology.  My goal was to do work with first responders, veterans and athletes. They are all unique subcultures where mental health, self-care, and being more in touch with our feelings is stigmatized so people suffer in silence. Men and women alike often feel like people outside of their subcultures cannot understand them.   

My plans for a doctorate got sidetracked by a Worker’s Compensation legal case that lasted years cutting off my medical care and disability pay.   One of the things the caseworker told me was I should go back on opiates and other addictive and dangerous medications to save them money. The battle was basically my functional and integrative doctors cost too much money despite them saving my life as well as helping me go back to school, do volunteer ministry, and some strength coach and sport psychology work with professional and Olympic athletes.  

Without an income and the stress of the legal case, there’s no way I could pursue a doctorate.  Through what I consider a miracle, I received a full scholarship to get a masters in pastoral theology.  My intentions for the degree were to use it as an anchor for my continued healing mentally, emotionally and spiritually concerning both a forced medical retirement and the legal case which so many first responders understand workers compensation can make you feel betrayed and traumatized with false accusations, delays and denials for urgent medical care, as well as major financial stress. Add to that any first responder or veteran - no matter how balanced one’s life is- has so much energy wrapped up in both our personal identity and purpose, as well community of like minded friends who’ve shared the same experiences through sweat and blood.  

It is not our actual fellow cops or departments personally attacking us - but when you are off on medical leave or medically retired, you feel isolated from the most important support and community of your fellow brothers and sisters.  You also worry they could believe the lies being passed around about your character and integrity as far as seeking medical care. 

My concentration in Pastoral Theology was Spirtual Direction which is an emphasis on spirituality and psychology.  The relationship is about helping people become more aware of where the experience of God, peace, love and meaning are showing up in their daily life whether pleasant or painful - versus just following some rules of morality or intellectual dogma to get to heaven on the day we physically die.  Within that concentration I focused on the contemplative tradition (meditation and reflection type prayers not everyone is aware are also part of the Christian tradition), masculine spirituality and psychology, as well as the warrior archetype and how it pertains to first responders and veterans.  I eventually did an additional two-year Spirtual Direction School with Protestants so I would get a different perspective than the Jesuit/Catholic spirituality that was emphasized in graduate school.   Throughout graduate school and Spirtual Direction school, my intention primarily was doing my own work on myself emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.  

Another part of my faith journey is that I am a cradle Catholic that became extremely interested in the different dominations and “flavors” of Christianity, as well as other religious traditions after high school. Is everyone aware there are more than 30,000 different Christian denominations whom all interpret scripture differently? When I was in boot camp at the Air Force Academy I discovered not everyone was Catholic like the areas I grew up.  Depending on where someone grew up and their religious tradition or denomination - they were usually convinced and sometimes even argumentative about being in the “correct” camp to get to heaven, please God or become enlightened.  It was confusing to me and even hurtful that Christians seemed so angry or judgmental at times even to other believers who had more in common than what they might disagree about.  

For a solid decade I tried to read about, participate in prayer groups and services, and meet with clergy from the various Christian denominations wondering is there someone that has the absolute truth? I ended up heavily immersed in evangelical sports ministry for a number of those years along with also growing in the Contemplative Christian tradition.   If anyone is interested in my spiritual journey, contact me and I will happily share more details about the variety of influences that helped me grow to include major periods of suffering and struggle.  

Through a number of twists and turns that were unexpected - I ended up doing primarily Police Chaplain and Peer Support work in Los Angeles and throughout the country via another non-profit, a rehab center for first responders, and my personal network of first responders and Veterans. It is not uncommon for first responders from other agencies or vets to be referred to me through cops from the departments I work with, cops I worked with back east, or police psychologists.  It’s a little easier perhaps when someone is hesitant to open up about their struggles to be told “hey I know this chaplain that was a cop and has some military experience plus was a college football player and strength coach” rather than be referred immediately to ordained clergy or a mental health professional. 

My personal faith is my inspiration for what I do, but I must meet others where they are based on their beliefs, values and experiences to better understand and hold their stories, as well assist them live out their personal spirituality better. My heart is very ecumenical, and I also have always  felt a calling to serve those who either got turned off or traumatized by religion, have no religious upbringing, or have left their church because they do not feel spiritually fed or understood. 

In recent years, many in law enforcement have felt betrayed by their own churches preaching as if all the negative stories in the media are true about cops being racists and murderers.   Sadly too much political ideology is influencing even our faith communities.  It is rare to hear prayers for the law enforcement community and their families, but plenty of prayers for those committing crimes who force officers to protect the public and themselves with justified violence (which often takes an emotional toll). 

They are left without a spiritual home when their faith communities - and even family and friends - buy into the false narratives of the media. I provide a safe container for them to take off their armor, share their sacred stories with someone who understands, and have no fear of judgement of any kind. 

My niche is spending time in the trenches establishing trust and rapport. I do ride alongs and station visits, observe and participate in any training that I am invited to, and go shooting with veterans transitioning out of the military. My approach is not the traditional reacting to crisis or responding to requests, rather I pro-actively spend time with cops while they are on the job. My priority is encouraging better overall wellness, life balance, mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual self-care BEFORE officers experience a breakdown or a crisis. However, I am also well versed in response to critical incidents, as well as spending time with first responders at treatment facilities for PTSD and substance abuse issues.

My mission is to continue to spend time in the trenches with officers, provide confidential peer support and spiritual direction, and facilitate a contemplative prayer group with sharing for first responders in Los Angeles. I also would like to offer free wellness events integrating various aspects of fitness and martial arts, mindfulness and yoga, small group sharing, and fellowship with ribeyes on the grill. In a variety of ways, I provide a platform where first responders learn to use their unique career experiences as a spiritual path, rather than it leading to breakdown which unfortunately happens too often in these professions.  

I make myself available 24/7 via texting, emails, phone calls or meeting one on one or in small groups on or off duty.  That is where the most important work happens.  Trust must be established and only then they will reach out to spend time confidentially communicating. The standard approach is mental health professionals, chaplains and peer support responding to critical incidents asking if the cops are ok and if they’d like help.  The majority of the time not enough rapport is there for them to be honest so they’ll say they’re ok and hold things inside or self-medicate to numb themselves.  I have to mention that my girlfriend is quite the champion for our time together being interrupted often, for example by needing to speak to someone on the phone for hours who was thinking about suicide in the middle of a date night.

Up until this point in time I have survived off of my fixed disability pension.  With the rising cost of living, I am no longer able to do that and have been using my savings to pay bills.  My biggest Achilles heel is not asking for support all these years and trying to do it on my own.  However at this point in time it is no longer an option if I am to continue to serve these police officers, other first responders and veterans because all of my work is unpaid. 

In addition to simply being able to pay my bills, I cannot afford Peer Support, Chaplain, wellness and resiliency training, workshops and seminars that I would also like to attend.  I am required to do continuing education to maintain some of my positions and I simply cannot afford the training.  I would love to get certified as a yoga and meditation instructor as two examples, so I could offer free training to first responders and veterans, but those certifications cost a lot of money.  I have also turned down presenting at conferences or workshops because I cannot afford the travel, hotel or other expenses.   There are other projects, workshops and retreats I would like to provide for first responders as well that would require significant financial backing.   

In the past myself and colleagues/mentors in the mental health and spirituality realms put on free retreats for first responders and we would like to do that again. As well every year I take cops from Los Angeles to Missouri on a fishing and clay pigeon shooting retreat in nature.  There are other retreats I’d like to put on or provide scholarships for officers and some for their spouses as well that require large financial supoort.  Also I envision workshops around training both tactical skills like shooting and martial arts that they don’t get enough of; integrated with breath work, yoga and meditation for example to teach a counter balance to the hypervigilance.  Whereas if someone just offers a meditation or anything “spiritual” or “religious” type workshop or retreat for cops - only a select few might come and likely won’t be the ones that really need it.  

In my personal life, after 47 years of primarily being single and never engaged or married (ah you ask what’s wrong with me?!), I finally met a sacred woman whom I would like to pursue marriage with but financially am not in the position to do so.   The cost of living in Southern California is outrageous, but the medical care here has saved as well as sustained my life.  She also has a child at home with joint custody so cannot move.  Further, Southern California is at the heart of a lot of the negativity towards police officers and other challenges they face with the media, politicians, district attorneys, and policies that create enormous amounts of stress for them and their families. I feel called to serve them as they deserve all the love and support I can give with my unique background.  This is one of the real battlegrounds for law-enforcement in the country.  Yet rest assured I also provide phone, text, email and zoom peer and spiritual support for first responders and veterans across the country.  With a quote ?

You probably wouldn’t know there are some retired first responders and vets that their PTSD is so challenging, they are only comfortable communicating as text or email pen pals.  I believe it’s critically important I maintain an open channel in whatever ways as well whatever hours they might finally be ready to talk, text or write to me.  

So here I am for the first time reaching out to others asking for emotional, spiritual, and financial support to continue my mission.  All donations are tax deductible and the proper documentation will automatically be sent to you during tax season.   If you know any individuals, faith based organizations, or business owners that would consider supporting my work and for tax reasons to donate to nonprofits annually, please forward a link to this letter.  

One time donations are appreciated, however I really need to build a team of monthly recurring supporters to have financial stability that will allow me to focus on my work.  

It is really hard for me to type this as I would be appreciative of even $20 a month, but I have been advised by multiple people who make their living in ministry or with nonprofits by fundraising, tell me that the lowest I should start asking for is $100 per month.   Then ask individuals, organizations or businesses that could afford it to consider donating $300 a month, $500 a month or $1000 a month.   Based on the cost of living in my area I was told I should be shooting for fundraising $100,00 per year which in addition to my disability pension is the the median income in my area.  Additional funds for retreats and workshops could be collected specific to what someone was interested in directly supporting. 

I am completely appreciative of any one time or recurring gifts, as well as thoughts and prayers. 

If anyone is interested in learning more about my personal faith and spiritual journey do not hesitate to reach out, or if you want to know more about my work as well. 

Love and Blessings,

Chaplain Matt